DecisionBot DecisionBot

Don’t sweat the dumb stuff. (stuff is mostly super dumb.)

What to do?

Wait, this is serious.

Vs. Mode!

Choose between the following:

Pick a number.

Give me a number between and

Weigh your option(s).

Serious question? Let's have the details:

  • Add pro
  • Add con
Add option

DecisionBot is a Free Web App

You don't have to go to an app store or anything. Just visit the site on your device and add it to your homescreen.


  1. Visit in Safari. (Annoyingly, the subsequent steps aren't available in other browsers.)
  2. Tap the Share Button. ( If you don't see it, tap the bottom of the screen. ) Step 2
  3. Scroll to and tap “Add to Home Screen.” Step 3
  4. Tap “Add.” Step 4


  1. Visit in Chrome.
  2. Tap the Menu icon. Step 2
  3. Tap “Add to Home screen.” Step 3
  4. Tap “Add.” Step 4

About DecisionBot

Walk or ride? Burritos or Falafel? Dr. Who or Buffy? DecisionBot helps with the choices no mere mortal can reasonably be asked to make.

What sort of choices?

DecisionBot can handle several different kinds of queries:

  • Flip

    “Should I go to this stupid party?” you ask yourself. No need to search the couch from which you don't want to get up for a coin to flip. DecisionBot knows what to do.

    Even if you haven’t yet narrowed your options to an either/or: “Should I go to this stupid party, stay in and rewatch Freaks & Geeks, or go get ice cream before returning home to rewatch Freaks & Geeks?” Just ask DecisionBot. He’s here to help, and he won’t judge you for loading the question in favor of your sedentary lifestyle, and furthermore he thinks your facility with an Oxford comma is sexy.

  • Vs. Mode

    Give DecisionBot some options and he’ll pick one. Great for deciding what to read next, picking out paint colors, and settling odious debates about the “greatest” whatever of whatever decade.

  • Pick a number

    DecisionBot feels like this one is pretty self-explanatory.

  • Weigh

    When a roll of the digital dice won’t do, DecisionBot can help you weigh more consequential matters. List your options and the pros and cons of each, rating the importance of each factor. DecisionBot will do the math and try to tell you what you want.

Cool, but should I trust DecisionBot?

Think of DecisionBot as a drunk friend. Actually, a drunk person you just met at a party who you feel like you could theoretically be friends with at some point. He’s fun but he gets excited about strange things and is kind of an unwarranted know-it-all. I wouldn’t ask him to pick a college for you. Unless your choices are like, Harvard, Stanford, and Yale, in which case we feel confident he’ll make a good decision.

We think DecisionBot’s Weigh function is legitimately pretty helpful for serious questions. But, you know, this is your life and DecisionBot is a toy. We’re not responsible for the dumb shit you do.

Is there an app?

Hell yeah. Sorta.

Is someone reading or sharing or selling or keeping track of what I ask DecisionBot?

I mean, probably the NSA is. But DecisionBot doesn't do any of those things.

How does DecisionBot work?

Giant wind-up key.

Who winds him?

This guy. He also makes comics and posts.

I have questions! I have suggestions! I have thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams!

Give us a holler.

This is for Beccs.

Contact DecisionBot

Bleep bloop.

Don’t be stupid.